around the duck pond (latin_doll) wrote,
around the duck pond
latin_doll

I don't know if people realise there's a difference between saying "I'm sorry you're hurt by what I said" and "I'm sorry I said something hurtful to you". I mean, clearly there is a difference since only the latter conveys that the person apologising has any responsibility in the hurt that has been going on. But variations of the former (I'm sorry you're offended/ hurt, or the classic I'm sorry you feel this way), I feel, are so formulaic that I think some people have issued sincere apologies with that very wording in the past. (y'know, like, *steps on foot* "whoops, sorry if I hurt you" *removes foot* - "no prob :D")

However, Amanda, I still think starting a blog post about the whole Evelyn Evelyn "drama" with listen: i deeply apologize if anyone has been offended by our project - WELL I DON'T KNOW MA'AM BUT SOMEHOW THIS APPEARS UNWISE. This is more like "yay crowded room!" *walks without looking, yay!* *steps on foot, yay!* - "y'know, you're standing on my foot" - [other people] "fuck the haters, this doesn't look like it could hurt" - [after a long, hard think] "well I'm sorry you're offended and thanks for the stimulating discussion, everyone, I'm just gonna stand here for a little while and be awesome. Carry on!"

I admit it doesn't really help that some people think what Amanda wore at the Golden Globes this year is in any way relevant to the discussion. (You know - no. Ableism: good reason to criticise a person. Choosing to wear a dress that goes see-through from camera flashes: bad reason to criticise a person. No cookie.) But I still think it's possible to focus on the main points, which, according to her post, are e.g. intent (she didn't mean it like that) and tone (... I dunno. I don't think it was the tone of her post).

I didn't mean to write a novel here, and I'm not going to, so I just want to stress that it's not about intent. Okay, it is about intent in the beginning. But intent is not only about why *you* are doing an action and what you want that action to mean, it is also about anticipating the effects this action will likely have, and determining whether you are okay with those effects and their likeliness. "May hurt and/ or offend people who are already marginalised in society" is something that could definitely have been anticipated from planning the Evelyn Evelyn project. I admit I don't know how obvious that may be to someone who has been entangled in the project for three years, but let that just stand there.

Intent is also about continuing what you did after some people have told you they're hurt, or offended, or angry as an effect of your action. See? Intent right there.

And no, this is not about whether it's art. It's about the fact that art isn't exempt from criticism. Picasso is art, and gives off a definitely sexist vibe (having said that, I'd rather not have to argue that point with an art historian, I just remember his late female nudes with a shudder).
Tags: art, fangirling not so much fun right now
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